terça-feira, 26 de fevereiro de 2008

_se nada se adjetiva

Ao entrar na sala de sua casa, o primeiro ponto de repouso de seus olhos será em sua estante que, dela mesma, só se vê o encalço e a lateral madeirada clara marfim, único local onde há vestígio algum da idade já anosa da mobília: alguns espaçados focos de mofo que encobrem o ainda taciturno flectido da madeira do fundo, o que apenas comprova a umidade e a baixa qualidade do estanteado. O sofá preto nem mais se vê, já calado pelos panos, pelo pó, pelos restos de pizza e suas respectivas embalagens, pelo pequeno cão que insiste em morar com ele e pelo catálogo da programação televisiva; decerto o móvel é a estante para o que não é suficientemente organizável em prateleiras e estantes. A televisão são duas: uma inativa pela idade, outra que garante a zombaria durante as vinte e cinco horas do dia – a matemática para ele já não tem tanto efeito, apesar de sabê-lo de sua importância na compra do jornal diário na banca de sua praça e na checagem do troco da pizza, seu raciocínio lógico é evidentemente ineficiente e imprestável. Às máquinas multimídias telemáticas, uma veio-lhe de herança de seu irmão mais velho, o safo é percebido na falta de entrada para antenas externas e na competência de receber ondas de canais dos mais específicos: um estatal, cuja programação se resume em debates políticos dos legisladores e dos deputados e congressistas, outro do mercado financeiro, cuja tela se baseia num gráfico móvel dos preços e valores das principais ações, da cotação de moedas estrangeiras e nacional, como um último exemplo, há o canal religioso de exorcismo, com missas e músicas otimistas e excludentes, resumidas na máxima “só-eu-salvo”ista. Já o outro aparelho, mais recente e de maior potência e definição digital, é o apreço do dono-da-casa, com aproximadamente cem canais fixos e mais cerca de trinta que transmitem, a cada dia da semana, um canal diferente do mundo, uma maneira simplória de viajar o globo com menos dinheiro avoando dos bolsos. Dos cem canais fixos, é fiel telespectador de alguns dez – arriscando alto para parecer-nos menos estapafúrdia a cena – alguns nacionais, apesar da não tão alta qualidade quanto aos de países mais desenvolvidos segundo os especialistas no assunto, outros de países mais periféricos, outros de países isófonos, alguns das potências globais. Pois se duas televisões em destaque, é lá que seria o ponto de repouso natural dos olhos, creria um leitor mais atento; o fato, por mais feérico que possa parecer, é que, ao ponto frontal daquele que está sentado no sofá – a parede das televisões – há um mini labirinto espelhante, típico de parque de diversões, cuja brincadeira está nas diversas formas e reflexões que a feição e o semblante do objeto, sempre o afunilando, engrangecendo-o, engorgando-o; sua vista ficaria zonza e incomodada, porquanto o natural do instinto humano é . Diz o dono-da-casa que adora chamar suas amigas e parceiras sexuais para o sexo excêntrico que os espelhos lhe conferem. – falemos das mulheres por algumas linhas; sua mais preferida é deveras uma morena estudante da universidade da cidade, diz que ela é tímida, muitas vezes ela tem a capacidade de não ser refletida pelos espelhos e se esconder, a outra, mais distante e um pouco mais platônica, é aquela modelo )sim, sim, modelo de revista erótica, sim, uma meretriz, para parecer que somos cultos( que teve seu território invadido já por inúmeros outros, não há ser andante na face desse planeta que não a inveje, é do tipo monumento, a última é também a mais freqüente amiga sexual e a menos reconhecida é uma presente dos milhões de anos de evolução: sua mão esquerda. Há outras, mas essas são as top. – E de que adianta dar toda a descrição dos micro detalhes da sala se o que você verá em proeminências será a estante? Dizem os visitantes da casa dele que essa é o cartão de visita de toda a casa, porquanto todo o resto é inapresentável, por assim dizer, não sendo razoável tampouco a apresentação de seu quarto – imagine então de seu banheiro. Suas prateleiras não chegam a se abarrotar de livros ainda, um jovem da vida pré-madura não conseguiria uma biblioteca considerável, contudo, os volumes que lá encontramos são, resumidamente, de literatura e verbetes de dicionários em línguas úteis para si. Sabem, leitores, aquela hipótese que já foi representada em algum conto do passado de que, contabilizando os verbetes encontrados no livro, podemos ter noção quase que perfeita do que se trata o enredo ou a temática motriz do que se lê? Ora, aqui não seria passível de identificar uma só narrativa que generalizasse tudo numa coisa só, primeiro, qualquer palavra, mesmo que secundária ou meramente usada como fim de sinonímia seria incongruente – vejamos o exemplo de alamba, recorrente no texto, e que, por fins estilísticos, seja trocado por manga, cuja sema se divide entre o fruto e o termo referente à parte do vestuário que cobre os braços; e então? a manga entraria nessa contagem de maneira qual? – outrossim, os vocábulos seriam, ao mínimo, duplicados pelos dicionários. Retomando, a estante está flectida e porosa devido à umidade ou idade da mobília, ele, como bom dono-de-casa que é, gosta de encerá-la com todo zelo que possui, tudo para mantê-la do seu jeito, sabe que não conseguirá transformá-lo em uma estante planejada e montada para ser sua, é apenas mais uma que é prática e lhe serve; mês a mês, o mais tardar, cuida de repintá-la, reencerá-la, o escambau, tudo para que pareça-lhe um móvel feito sob medida para si. Estima especial para com sua estante, podemos ver. Sua vida não se resume a tratar sua mobília de modo esmerado, porquanto isso requer azos e força de vontade que nem sempre existem, imaginem que quando não está ele assistindo a televisão de sua casa ou lendo livros, está trabalhando – se não o disse, diga-se que cá sim o foi dito; é revisor de artigos da revista mais conhecida nas redondezas, se bem que revisar é uma tarefa que esconde metafísica demais, não é qualquer josé da rua que conseguiria. nem ele o faz, recebe para tanto e o máximo que se aproxima da profissão é no nome; lê, entretanto é inábil para a correção mais bem estruturada da língua usada.

)ó!, diriam vocês, mas que passa?! Um parágrafo feito! Digo: há agora no conto uma ruptura, o que antes foi escrito não mais terá continuação lógica na estória; uma nova leitura aqui será demandada. Por dizer em metáforas, que imagino ser um gosto de vocês leitores, o texto que daqui pra frente será lido é nossa estante em reforma, pede por cuidados, e é unicamente nossa bonança que permitiria o apuro.(.)Como narrador, sempre vejo que parágrafos deveriam existir a momentos todos.

Como agora,

e novamente cá.

Não há texto – digo por experiência – cuja homogeneidade é tamanha que, mormente, usa-se parágrafo por páginas, o mais correto – se assim podemos avaliar – é escrever palavras soltas na página, como que sem querer muito dizer exatamente, só deste modo poderíamos perceber as rupturas da narrativa, do autor, do narrador e do leitor. Tudo muito bem jogado ao lodo.(

Ok. Vencem os menos filósofos, aqui não terá uma ruptura digna de parágrafo. A fissura será mais estilística. Vamo-nos aos fatos, vamos ao lide propriamente dito.

Hoje, nesse exato dia, ele não quis ir ao trabalho, diz-se cansado e pirético, uma gripe-por-vir ou um paludismo em tamanho mais diminuto – medicina não é seu forte. Preferiu garantir o dia seguinte de trabalho, cuidar-se por um dia seria suficiente para uma melhora significativa, afinal, todo mal é combatido mais facilmente se no seu sintoma de intróito àquele mais conhecido e avançado, também chamado morte. Ligou para a administração da revista, quem atendeu é o editor chefe, Quem fala por aí, ele responde com seu nome, Cá estou ligando para avisar-lhe que suspeito estar entrando numa constipação que está a entupir minhas vias respiratórias, Decerto esperado, seu apartamento é pó e uma estante, Deveras; gosto muito de..., alguns segundos de pausa cortados pelo editor, Do quê, afinal, não há resposta compreensível, só cofes e atchins típicos de uma rinite aguda, Do quê, dizia, De meus livros, de meus livros, perdoe, o nariz não agüenta o maltrato, Que deus se sare até amanhã o mais tardar, telefones no gancho após uma despedida profissional. A televisão antiquada foi a primeira a acordar e ver o estado de seu dono, seus olhos encaram diretamente a narina escorrendo à medida que mostrava o santíssimo Vigário de cristo discursando sobre o bem-católico-ser. Pousaram-lhe aos ouvidos alguns minutos de mandamentos e desmandamentos sagrados ou profanos que cocegavam os pêlos do órgão que passou gradativamente a nível otítico. Desligou o televisor velho e partiu para o mais moderno: horas do programa estatal do país isófono do continente velho, Ligue para nossas centrais e responda ao questionário para ganhar prêmios em dinheiro, não há mais tempo, são só mais dois minutos – e ficava o cronômetro parado até os dois minutos finais do programa para começar a contagem regressiva. O prêmio era razoável, equivalente a meio salário na revista. Ousou mexer-se para pegar o telefone, o que não foi necessário, uma vez que seu telefone estava em seu colo, como se esperando para ser usado. Discou os tantos números. A primeira questão era simples, política atual para crianças. A segunda já teve uma dificuldade maior, história natural para adolescentes. A terceira – que, pelo ditado, é sempre demais – era transcendental e filosófica, relativa a assuntos como tempo, típico dos que não tem mais nada a fazer. Não soube resolver. Minto, não chegou a tentar resolvê-la, pensou que já havia se excedido no tempo de telefone. Foi pô-lo no gancho, uma hemicrania exasperada passou a tomar-lhe conta da cabeça; doía-lhe o lobo esquerdo, o que é estranho, sabendo que, pelo mais que a ciência avance, temos como parte do acervo cultural o dado que o raciocínio lógico é fruto do lobo direito do cérebro, a canseira, decorrente de uso estressante, causaria dor; o que prova que a hemicrania não é decorrência de sua participação tímida no “desafio cultural” do programa televisivo. Almoçou, televisou, jantou e dormiu para acordar.

Acordou para voltar a dormir, a hemicrania não havia passado, seu defluxo havia se agravado e a sinusite parecia inevitável. Decidiu mais uma vez cancelar o trabalho. Um diálogo já visto se repetiu não com as próprias palavras, decerto; havia conseguido descanso de tantos dias desde que, em ao menos um dia, fosse ao clínico geral checar se não havia maiores possíveis mazelas. Prometeu. Ao contrário do que é normal, de ir o enfermo ao curador, pediu a seu vizinho, pediatra em ofício, que viesse vê-lo e receitá-lo algum anti-histamínico ou algo do tipo. Quais são seus sintomas, pergunta de praxe, Tenho nariz escorrendo e uma dor de cabeça imensurável, Que parte lhe dói mais, no meio, na periferia, na nuca, No lado esquerdo, Dói ouvidos, Dos males, o menor, pegou seu estetoscópio, Fundo, ..., ..., ..., Nada, foi cortado por um espirro e continuou ignorando o degrau causado pela esternutação, Grave aqui, Receita algum remédio em especial, tenho que voltar ao trabalho, É uma virose boba, nada mais, em mais tardar semana que vem estará curado, tome água, repouse, alimente-se bem e veja se arrume sua sala, certamente o pó daqui ajudou na sua sinusite. Tchaus e agradecimentos. Ao sair o doutor da sala, ele não deu a menor importância para o último conselho, mormente por saber que virose é a culpa da efemeridade quando não se acha explicação mais aceitável, ademais, sua sala nunca havia lhe traído, o pó era seu amigo. Manteve-se sentado só se divertindo com seus cem canais em companhia de seu cachorro – é divino notar que os animais percebem o mal estado de saúde dos donos e ficam sempre ali, nos espreitando, meio que esperando o causador sair de nosso corpo para, com uma só mordida, acabar-lhe com a raça.

Já era noite, o sono não havia lhe visitado, estava atrasado, era madrugada. Em um de seus canais preferidos, estava passando um filme deveras aflitivo, desses que nos mantém tensos dos primeiros ao último minuto. Nada de sucesso ou produzido pelas maiores do globo, era um filme do tipo underground trash, típico dos não endinheirados ou que não querem se endinheirar. Numa das cenas finais, clichês desse gênero, o bom moço está entrando no reino do mau moço, a pequenez do protagonista no cenário é marca típica de alguma metáfora que ninguém entendeu, nem eu, nem nosso personagem ou seu cachorro. O bom moço não teve sequer a inteligência de notar que o mau moço estava seguindo seus passos; a sonoplastia tensa e poderosa é que dava o clima tenebroso, não a cena em si. Nosso protagonista – não o do filme, percebe – começa a roer a unha de seu dedo-pai-de-todos de tanto nervosismo, mesmo com um enredo no lugar-comum, a música foi capaz de causar-lhe algum medo. O susto está no porvir já, logo ali na dobra do horizonte, joga seu pedaço de unha recém-roído a seu cachorro, que o morde como um brinquedo. Suas cordas vocais tremeram como as de um bebê que pede pelo leite da mamãe, essa, por sua vez, não compreendendo pelo que sua cria chama, puxa-lhe ao colo, bate em concha suavemente nas costas da criança, dá-lhe atenção, brinca, troca as fraldas, alimenta-o – tudo pelo conforto do sangue do seu sangue )que, de fato, é uma falácia, sangue aqui é metáfora de gene, sendo esse a pedra angular do restante(. Seu grito bate violentamente contra os vidros das janelas de sua sala – todas abertas para arejar o ar enfermo – fazendo-lhes tremer. Assim que o susto se acabou e o grito se cessou, decide por assistir filmes outros, como aquele em que a protagonista filha de aristocratas se apaixona pelo pianista da taberna que vive no curral pois um quarto lhe custa por demais.

)Acredito que não foi dada devida atenção ao que de mais importante aconteceu nesse momento epífano do conto, não cabe a mim agora repeti-lo, por ora, segue a leitura de nosso amigo doente.(

Já era dia seguinte, dormira lá mesmo, em seu projeto de sofá preto, com a televisão ligada no volume baixo, para que o som servisse como música de ninar. Seus olhos estavam com argueiros já fixados aos cílios, a cera que surgia em sua orelha era mostra de que a sinusite havia sido levada às áreas próximas de cuidado da rinologia. Talvez devesse eu ter deixado o filme, minhas forças pareceram escorrer conforme os sustos vinham. Nós sabemos que o pó é o seu problema, como em qualquer outra crise alérgica, esse é o mor dos males; é desse item trupe que devemos nos livrar – ou melhor, sabemos nós que o que limpa e cura de fato é uma lavagem não só nos cômodos da casa, mas como também nos cômodos do corpo, começando pela alma e passando à carne pecaminosa e suas entranhas. decerto a lavagem espiritual seria a de maior abrangência, pois então! Sua cabeça cutucava o mundo externo com maior raiva, a comparação aqui vale, ponhamos uma criança em uma caixa e a deixe crescer; em questão de pouco tempo o tampo será o limite, enquanto sabemos que não o deve ser. Era almoço e decidiu dar-lhe um presente: dignidade mínima no cardápio, ao menos um escalope de filet mignon co molho de laranja, ou então gengibre, para curar-lhe da virose. A única peça bovina que tinha era moída. E de segunda qualidade, daquelas que fazemos comida para o cachorro. Ignorou o fato e refogou o pouco que lhe cabia, adicionou cenouras, ervilhas, milhos e champignons para gostar um gosto – hm... – inédito. Para finalizar, restou na despensa um pote de molho de tomate que serviu como líquido para o prato. Os chefes franceses que cuidem, pois nosso dono-de-casa sabe se virar com nada. Fez uma xícara de arroz, uma salada crocante de alface americana e torradas com molho pronto italiano, um bom vinho do porto de uva ruby acompanhando um jazz com swing latino. A primeira garfada foi dada, a carne estava, seguindo suas palavras, Com gosto de homem, bem genérico assim, sem explicar mais – acredito que não tenha ele provado de fato para saber se o gosto é ou não similar. Não conseguia parar de comer, mesmo com a qualidade sendo das piores, sabia que serviria como remédio, como anestésico para a dor, mais uma e outra garfada o prato estaria limpo.

Era hora. Depois de digerido o almoço, a comida já estava – em menos tempo que o normal – batendo-lhe ao reto, chamando o porteiro, pedindo permissão para sair. Foi um relacionamento muito breve, porém intenso entre ele e a carne. Não teve agilidade suficiente para chegar ao estacionamento das comidas-já-digeridas e no sofá mesmo um creme de cor de “carne com gosto de homem” – assim mesmo, bem genérico – se esparramou embosteando toda a sala. Até exagero é capaz de não sê-lo se dizer que o vão da porta de entrada foi coberto por carne digerida.

Estava muitíssimo mal, além de com hemicrania colossal, defluxo constante e pirexia de trinta e nove graus Celsius, tinha uma diarréia que não o deixava sair do trono da casa. Com o telefone em seu colo, disca para você, doméstica conhecida – e nada mais – de nosso personagem, pedindo para que viesse limpar, por todo obséquio do mundo, a sala. Você vai já imaginando que nada mais do que alguns centímetros de sujeira estaria em sua frente; lá você repara que a sala por quase completamente, tinha seu piso espacanhado da mais pura diarréia. Você, ao contrário do que pensaria em fazer, está com sua mão a destino da merda, como se estivesse vendo nela um retrato do que sempre procurou; seus dedos nem sequer se mexem para olhar ao redor, estão com uma idéia fixa. Ele está ocupado demais para saber o que se passava no cômodo ao lado, você, contudo, ia à busca daquela nhaca, suas unhas são as primeiras coisas-vivas a tocar toda a bosta, brincam de se misturar e entrelaçar, estão em desarmonia de uma maneira muito atípica.

Você está segurando um tanto considerável de excrementos fecais dele na palma de suas duas mãos, as unhas se deliciaram com o contato inovador e incomum, agora é você que encara toda aquela arte que o intestino humano criou. Você não parece desconfiar conscientemente, mas agora sabe que seu desejo maior é tê-la para si; toda a bosta deve ser só sua. Você sente isso. Você não consegue negar. Os olhos da merda fitam seu rosto como se fizesse um pedido de Por favor, guarde-me, você se sente cada vez mais na carência de tê-la, está desconfiado de qualquer ladrão, quer mostrar ao mundo que agora é seu, porém não quer deixá-la a mostra.

É agora, não passa desse instante, é a única maneira de só você guardar toda essa bosta. Sim. Você faz isso que imagina agora. Seus braços se dobram para orar a deus por uma prece e seu rosto cai como se acabasse de perder a maior guerra de sua vida. E no encontro do divino vívido e do mundano sinistro, seus dentes brancos se enegrecem com aquela pasta.

)Como sabem, você é um personagem múltiplo, desse raciocínio, perceberemos que alguns personagens você iriam fugir, com toda aquela sujeira nos dentes, para longe, esconder-se e só futuramente pensar em divulgar o segredo ou não. Outro possível final dessa tristeza é você não limpar os dentes e ir ao banheiro dele. – ah, ah! foi isso mesmo que você fez! você anda a passos lentos e vitoriosos e dá-lhe um sorriso dizendo que nada ali caberia em si só, aquilo passaria do limite de sua casa. Afinal, é impossível que excrementos não saiam pelo cu, há vezes, o que vemos é a diarréia.(

90 comentários:

Guilherme Dearo disse...

Hum...
Lembrou-me aquele seu conto soft-porn, pelo apartamento, pela vida, por algumas características da personagem.
Pra mim representou uma vida bem medíocre e recheada de coisas "podres" que fazem parte da vida mas, por conveniência, escondemos e ignoramos.
A "merda" eu vi como a essência do personagem que o leitor sempre tenta captar.
Abraços!

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